Sounds like you are pretty new at this (the first thing a lot of us do is read until our eyeballs fall out). We do this to understand and get control of our lives. I have been diagnosed for years. The best advice I can suggest is to take your time learning about bp. Observe yourself and how bp shows up in you. Read the posts on here. Make some pc friends. Try not to make sudden major life decisions while in a major depressive or manic phase as they are not usually wise choices. Search for your strengths and use them in your battle against bp.