First off I would like to say welcome to PC!
When you are happy it is common that you don’t understand the logic behind the action. Cutting can often be a way to communicate distress or can be used to cope better. It is a way to handle your current emotions and state of mind. Why you cut doesn’t have to make sense after you cut, it only has to make sense before and while you are doing it. If it didn’t somehow make sense to you before and while you were cutting it might not have been done at all. Although this is not always the case. Did you understand and are you able to write down your feelings before and after you cut? That might help you to become more aware of why you do it and how you feel during. Logging can be very useful to determine the source. Perhaps you could write down what triggered the episode as well as what you were doing before and after it took place.
Perhaps your boyfriend didn’t really know how to react to your cutting. It can seem overwhelming to him. Try not to judge the situation too soon. Just because he didn’t react a certain way doesn’t mean he doesn’t deeply care about you and want you to stop. Perhaps you should give him some time to let it all sink in before you talk to him about it again. You might also want to think about telling him about your bipolar, trust me, it will make things easier in the end and he will be able to understand what you are going through more fully, and in greater detail.
I think it is great that you want him to help you stop. Lean on as many people as you can, seriously, it helps a lot in the long run. Find people you can trust to talk to about your cutting and you will find it easier to open up and control your urges.
I think the best way to stop cutting or self injuring is to recognize why it is occurring and try to find better ways to handle when you get upset. A therapist can help you get down to the root of the problem and help you to find new coping mechanisms. Different methods that you can try can be found at the very top of the self injury forum in the sticky notes section.
I wish you all the best. Take care of yourself, and keep updating and letting us know how you are doing.
Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk or have any questions.
- Keep
PS: None of what you said was dumb at all, I have been in many similar situations. You are not alone in feeling this way or in handling situations the way you do.
Last edited by KeepHoldingOn; Jun 06, 2010 at 04:29 AM.
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