I can tell you that after four years I am still trying to figure things out. I have definitely learned a lot and I understand better. Reading helps, but I have found that it is important not to overanalyze things. I have mixed episodes and they are not fun. For me, I am crazy irritable with outbursts of energy, yet at the same time I am severely depressed. It is not fun. With meds I have periods of hypomania, but not full blown manic episodes. When I am hypomanic I am very sexual and I feel like I am the life of the party. I say inapproprate things in public and I make very bad decisions. I drive reckless when I'm like that and I have hunted down people that pissed me off on the road. I know that sounds crazy, but its what I do when I'm like that. Feel free to message me. Take care!