Oh greylove... Sorry you've had such a rough time of things lately. The good news is that you've been diagnosed and now you'll get the help you need.

I can completely relate on the feeling incompetent thing. I think most of the people on this board can relate. Bipolar can be very damaging. It took me six years to finish undergrad because of it. It also almost ruined my graduate career when I was hospitalized for a major depressive episode last fall. I often feel that, because of my illness, I just can't live up to what the world expects of me and my peers.

Like you, I have also felt a real sense of inadequacy. I have mourned over a loss of functionality and independence. I have hated the fact that I need to swallow so many pills every day of my life and that I have constant appointments. I have been embarrassed by the stigma associated with mental illness. It shouldn't still exist, but it does.

My main point though is that you're not at all alone. There are lots of friendly people on these boards who can relate to just about anything that anyone is going through. Never hesitate to come here when you need a listening ear to understand. We're in this together!