Blah, I'm having a hard day

I just feel....YUCK.

Tomorrow is my first day back with T after a two week break, and I wonder if maybe some of the feelings I've been pushing away are seeping back in. I really didn't feel like I was pushing stuff away...I guess I did make a conscious decision at one point to try to not get caught up in a huge trigger, but that seemed like a good thing.

I think that maybe I am just so used to having a place to go once (or twice) a week to just rest and regroup and process, and maybe not having that has caused sort of a backlog of feelings.

I don't know. I'm so glad I get to see T at 2 tomorrow, but it still feels so far away. I hope I am able to go, and feel the connection, and get to work. I hope I don't do the rupture thing that I do after breaks.

BLAH.