(((((((((((rainbow))))))))))))

it might be good to hold off making any decisions while you are so upset. i wonder if you ARE starting to do the hard work and now you want to run away. of course it's much easier to focus on the T addiction than painful memories and feelings. but that is the work of therapy.

i've also been thinking if calling what you have with your Ts an addiction is just a different term for transference. if they really are the same thing then calling it an addiction is just a different template to view it. if we look at it as an addiction then conventional wisdom says to avoid it if possible. if we call it transference then working through the transference sounds like the conventional wisdom. rainbow, have you done much reading on transference and how to work through it? i wonder if that might help you get a handle on the process a bit.

i wish i knew what the answer is for you, but since i don't here are some and