i think wepow explained it beautifully. it's all about why you are there, what your motive is. if your motive is to get better and work on your real life issues then i think you'll have to make a very strong commitment to do this hard work. it isn't going to feel good and you will likely want to run away when it's painful and slow going. you will get distracted at times by the transference but that is normal i think. you just can't allow yourself to stay stuck in that place of focusing on the T relationship though. you have to get back up and continue with the hard work. on the other hand, if you just want to go to therapy for the good feelings you get from the T relationship but don't want to work on your issues then i do think it is a waste. working on your issues won't be a smooth process and it can't be done perfectly, but if it is the goal then i'd think it would be good to give this T a shot at it.

i think the question is are you up for doing the hard work, not perfectly, but the best you can? if you're not it is totally okay too. no reason to be hard on yourself for that but i wouldn't stay in therapy if that is the case. i think you have to be rigorously honest with yourself regarding this and really count the cost as to whether or not you are willing to do it. personally, i wouldn't go to therapy if the primary focus is why you don't want to quit therapy. that would be focusing on the transference rather than real life issues and is bound to fail. isn't transference normal and nothing to get that distressed over? that is how i understand it. the point is to work thru it but it isn't the main course of therapy. it's just a side dish, or a very tempting dessert in your case. i think the focus needs to be the real life issues like sunny mentioned. coming up with concrete real life therapy goals would probably be a good thing to do if you haven't already identified some. it's not that you'll never talk about the relationship in therapy but that isn't why you'd be going to therapy. the point would be to deal with real life issues.