((((((((Tree)))) I am so sorry you are feeling this way today. And I am SO glad T is back tomorrow. I love what WePow said about capturing the feelings you are having now, in this moment, with some for of art, or I was thinking poetry, painting or just writing it out diary-style. And then to be abe to access this moments feelings and fears about a rupture tomorrow.

I have see you in this place, trying so hard not to rupture that the rupture happens later on, a few appointments later as you try SO HARD not to rupture with T.

What struck me was the use of the word trigger. As I know the word trigger, it refers to feelings of the past that are suddenly with us now. Maybe it would somehow be helpful to focus on what from the past is being triggered for you. What about T going and then returning. Staying in touch with the past hurts and pain might diffuse some of the power behind a rupture with him.

Just my thoughts.....