I am so grateful for all of your thoughtful replies.
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we want what we need. But we do not always need what we want
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. Thanks for your examples, WePow.
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Has your therapist given you an indication that she thinks you shouldn't be in therapy?
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No, sunrise. She thinks that she can help me.
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i wouldn't go to therapy if the primary focus is why you don't want to quit therapy. that would be focusing on the transference rather than real life issues and is bound to fail. isn't transference normal and nothing to get that distressed over?
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bloom, intellectually I see what you mean, but emotionally I don't. The real life issue is why I want therapy even though I have a pretty good life. For me, transference IS something to get distressed over.
Solar, you probably think I'm spoiled and a whiner, and I don't blame you. I can see that you really need therapy and I know you can have a better life if you stick with it. Please don't give up.
You ask a good question. Maybe it's what is NOT happening in the RW that is my problem. Thank you for that.
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I think you have some very real attachment and enmeshment issues to work on in therapy. The bigger question would be if you are willing to truly examine them and challenge them or not. The danger for you, I think, is that therapy gives you what you perceive you need (that closeness), but simply basking in that 'therapy glow' will not change anything for you at all. You will remain enmeshed in that therapy dance of expectation and eventual disappointment.
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Luce, how do you know this? You're right that it leads to disappointment. Do you know from experience or reading? You're not a T, are you? I need to ask my T how we are going to work on the attachment issues. She knows the problem, but she follows my lead. EMDR led to "I want Mommy". I don't know why I am telling all of this over and over to strangers, though you don't seem like strangers.
Thanks, again.