Melba- I cant stress it enough that that is EXACTLY the feeling of being addicted to a drug. The fantasy, the warm fuzzy, it will ALL be okay now. Am I wrong that you had been in rehab or some kind of treatment for alcohol? Im sorry about the codeine thing. It sounds serious and very, very difficult. Are you doing this alone?

My fantasy world as a child and as a young adult was my deep dark secret that no one could take away from me. And drugs fueled that fire. It is SO difficult, I dont think the word difficult expresses how hard it is, to live in the real world, trust the world and not not put my head back into my shell and live my fantasy life. I guess the truth is that if you (or I ) dont get what we need in that moment and even in that desperation for a warm fuzzy, that we will be okay. We are okay. And you are okay without the warmth of codeine, Melba. I know you want that warm mommy. And it so hurts.....