oh ((((Jexa))))) I am so sorry all of this is happening at once. About T, I think you have said before that she might not be able to help you. That although her specialty is sexual issues, she is not familiar with your particular issue and she said so. It really looks like she might not know how to approach this and is trying this or that with you. Seeing if something works. I have had those feelings in therapy. It seems to me that it is up to the T to try something and abandon that approach if it doesnt seem to be clicking. Not to go round and round.

About the guy. Boy oh boy. Have I ever known men like that. Were there really signs you didnt see? I think when I was dating I had kissed every frog in NYCity to find a prince (ha! 17 yrs later....he has lost his crown). The more I dated, the more I was able to narrow down what I wanted. Now, that didnt keep me away from the bad boys (and this guy is def a bad boy), but I became more conscious of who the bad boys were and was a little more alert as to who I was actually with.

I know you have given some thought as to what you want. It is so hard to recognize those qualities in a short period of time in someone. There are ways to slip a round-about question about other dates into the conversation. I dont think 6 dates is a long period of time. It seems like a short period of time to be talking exclusive- especially if he didnt bring up the subject. To recognnize how into you he is. But our bodies tell us otherwise when we are involved physically. I had to STOP myself from getting involved physically before i knew who I was with. This was an impossibe task and took me almost 2 decades to try to do. To get the hang of what I wanted and who was going to give that to me. I wanted love and I wanted it NOW. I also have spent days on my couch crying and not going to work (almost losing a good job) in complete despair. I so feel for you and it just breaks my heart that this happened to you.

Do you trust your T to talk about dating and relationships in general? Putting aside the fact that she seems to be grasping at straws when it comes to the sexual issues you are dealing with.