Hi people. Thank you for all the responses. I'm doing a bit better today. Thanks to a bit of heartfelt prayer and the encouragement of your answers. I havent been wanting to face that i may be depressed. It wasnt supposed to happen to me - between my depressed sister and mum, i was the "strong one"... lol. I have felt like this, or at least pushed off thoughts like this/suppressed for as long as i can remember... it feels "normal" - i guess i thought it was me giving way to negativity... The saddest part of this past weekend has been the realization that my husband, the person who was my best friend, seems to not be able or willing to try and see beyond my black mood and see that me feeling/looking so down ISNT ABOUT HIM!!!!!!!! And i am in no mood to "make a case for myself"... if he doesnt get it, should i really be expected to EXPLAIN this to him?? He should care enough to ask "whats wrong love" and then REALLY LISTEN... but it doesnt happen. I think i should now lower my expectations... which is hard to do.. as i said, he WAS my best friend... anyway.. thanks for listening..