Hey Trippin!

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. All I can offer you right now is support and a little insight into some of the things you are feeling (Isn't it strange how when you feel mixed or neutral it's so much easier to think of things logically and leave the emotions behind?)
I think you've had a good while on here, and learnt a lot from people to give you some insight into the rollercoaster. Now however, you do have meds on your side. I'd recommend keeping a journal to note physical as well as emotional feelings, especially while trying to monitor any side-effects.

There really is no need to feel hopeless - there are plenty of us like you!! And a great portion of us keep families, jobs, happiness... Remember - you have never had the priviledge of meds to help you feel better.

I don't think you need to worry too much about your life needing to change - any necessary changes are generally positive e.g. try drink in mild moderation or not all; keep a structured day, remove stressors and triggers from your life...

I too am emotionally needy, and this is the main reason I am hoping to go to therapy one day.

My mother thinks a lot like you, but when I was hospitalised and she was notified, she didn't have much of an option but to deal with it.

Hang in there - we are here for you!