I posted this on the drug forum, but putting it here too

I suffer from BP, but was only dx'd a while ago. As far as I am concerned, I've either been dealing with this or depression for about the last 7 or so years.

Just over a year ago, I went through a stage where whenever I experienced really bad anxiety or depression, I would climb under the duvet and for about half an hour would repeatedly sniff Poppers. I think I may have got a bit addicted to the feeling it gave me. I haven't done this in over a year though.
I'm not sure why.
I'm not sure what board to post this on.
I'm not sure what I'm hoping to hear from anyone?

Maybe - have you ever done this yourself? Is this just an out to release some emotional pain? Is this damaging to the body? Is this a sign of a problem? I find myself right now wanting to seek this kind of feeling I used to get when I did sniff it..??

Feedback I've found so far is that it is not as damaging as other drugs, but the fact that I feel I need to keep it hidden from my bf is obvious that it is not a good idea.
It just makes me feel OK - like I'm escaping to another world; where I have no emotions and can just feel my physical self; there is no emotional self