Purple,

I am sorry that this is such a difficult issue and trigger for you. While it is not for me, we all have our triggers and I think most, if not all of us can identify with what that feels like.

My particular perception on this is that society does not regard females as objects but rather, that our culture regards objects as female. That is a significant difference to me. I am not arguing your interpretation. Your feelings need no justification, just commenting that mine are different.

I would like to share an example which is representative of statistics throughout our culture with you. It tends to point rather poignantly to the idea that as a culture we value women more than men.

Average sentence for vehicular homicide:

Total for all victims: 4.3 years

If the victim was a black man: 1.9 years
If the victim was a white man: 4.1 years
If the victim was a woman: 7.2 years

I have verified (a few years ago) data that I had read in a book which had quoted the US DOJ website. The author was right. I don't recall the title but it was a book on society and gender...that I remember clearly.
Other crimes were similarly represented with vast and statistically relevant disparities between gender and race.

I remember being thirteen years old and listening to the Senate Confirmation hearings to confirm Sandra Day O'Connor as Supreme Court Justice and the question was asked about what she thought about women being drafted in the event of a draft. It was an issue during the ERA debates. She responded, "I do not think that society is ready, and I know that I am not ready, to see our women come home in body bags." I remember wondering why, as I turned off the TV, women were so much more valuable to society then men.

Clearly these are just my impressions and interpretations. I think though that there is room for hurt on both sides of the gender divide. Certainly women have received at least their share of disparaging conventions, but I think that men have too.

I wish you well.