Hi all,

I'm 27 years old, married to a 33 year old Mr Sarcastic. There have been problems with trust issues in our past, but I feel like if I was not constantly feeling put on the defensive because of his way of arguing, which he very much enjoys, that I could love him again. I can't even say that I don't because he will just tell me he won't work on anything unless I tell him that I love him. We got married when I was 21- too young- I know now. We have 2 kids that I still think I had thinking that would fill the void his arguing and sarcasm leaves me. Well since having the kids I swear it has gotten worse, or I have just gotten more in touch with who I am and what I want in my life.

I am trying to fix us- well first me and then us. We have been married for 7 years in May and it just seems like it has been 27!

I would love to say I am exaggerating, but I'm not- I just know I cannot live like this for another 7 years- not to mention 50!

I have seen several therapists in my past, dealing with a sexual assault in college, depression resulting from that and social issues, then I went back because of my inablility to forgive and it started to affect my libedo and our relationship.

Sorry if that is TMI! I just wanted to lay it all out so you know where I am coming from.

Now the arguing is just driving me up the wall and I just want to run away. from the kids, from him.....

So here is a confession- I didn't even realize that he was our main problem until I was watching "Starting Over" and the life coach told one of the guys that Sarcasm is a poison in marriage. It hit me like a ton of bricks- I confronted him about that last night and he didn't believe me until I typed in sarcasm in marriage in google- well brought me to lots of sites that agreed- and this site too.

I think if we learn to communicate better this relationship will work out, but right now the way it is- I jsut don't know how long I am going to last!

Thank you for listening. I would love any tips about arguing effectively, because I just feel so stupid when arguing with him and it gets me nowhere!!!