I think OP feels triggered by the equation of "object = female," whichever direction it goes in. Simple mathematics states that if a = b, then b = a. Therefore, if objects are perceived to be female, in OP's mind it stands to reason that females are perceived to be objects as well. I gather that she, as a female, has been made to feel like an object all her life, and as a result, she is highly upset to the point of trauma when hearing inanimate things referred to as "she."

The objectification of women bothers me as well. My first adult relationship was with a man who automatically "approved" or "disapproved" every woman he ever saw. To him, women existed only for that purpose: to be evaluated by him and either accepted or rejected, based on sexiness. For example, I showed him a photo of my step-sister holding her newborn twins, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "She ain't bad." (Hey, you, it was the BABIES I was showing off. Twins, yet. But all you care about is the eye candy!) He would speak to females on the television screen, saying either some variation of "Mmm, mmm!" or, "Get off the TV, you ugly old broad." I soon found that I was an object to him as well. I functioned for his pleasure, and let's just say that as long as he was satisfied, he didn't care if I had any enjoyment of my own or not. Sometimes I felt as if I might as well be a hole in a tree stump, if you'll pardon the crudity.

Needless to say, this relationship didn't last long.

I can see where facing a lifetime of such devaluation, at the hands of everyone around her, would mess a woman up. It's been nearly 30 years since that relationship ended, and I can still remember things so vividly. It disgusts me to do so.