I haven't written in here before, but was hoping maybe someone could give me advise on how to pull myself out of this pit. Somebody throw me a rope.
A little about me:
I'm a 42 year old mom.
I date both men and women, and right now am in a relationship with a woman.
I have 2 teenagers still at home, very independent, and I think that's a good thing, except that they were forced at a young age to be independent because my depression has kept me in bed alot.
I work, I'm a professional. But sometimes it's so hard to get out of bed in the morning, but I do for fear of losing my job.
My problem:
The woman I'm in a relationship with , M, has decided that she has issues of her own that she needs to deal with. She has self esteem issues, and problems with depression (although she really doesn't see that) She also still loves her ex. She says that it's not fair to me to live in our home if she can't give her whole self to me. So she has decided to move out for awhile to work on herself. This is killing me. I feel like she is slowly pulling away from me. First it will be moving out to "better herself", then she'll not see me as often, then she'll decide she would rather be with "her". I can see it coming, like a really bad plane crash, but I can't do anything to stop it.
I've told myself a thousand times.... "If you love something let it go....." But all that seems to do is make me hurt worse.
I'm sitting here at work, hoping nobody comes into my office today, because I'm afraid I'll just burst into tears.
I can't believe this is happening. We were so happy together. She brought out the joy inside me, and made it brighter. We are so good together. We love each other and really bring out the best in each other.
Does anyone have some words of wisdom that can help get me out of this pit, and help me make it through the day?
I'm thinking about starting a blog on here. Maybe if I just put all my feelings down, get it all out, maybe, just maybe I'll make it through.