You don't need to find more effective ways of arguing, that's not the answer. The success or failure in a relationship -- ANY RELATIONSHIP -- is effective communication. That means talking in a respectful manner to one another or, when arguments do ensue, ensure they are done in a way that doesn't demean or disrespect one another. (This can be a very difficult thing for some people to learn.)

He needs to understand that his sarcasm isn't helping open communication in the relationship, it's shutting it down.

Sarcasm is a defense mechanism, and it although it may have taken him years or a lifetime to learn, it can be unlearned. It will take time and a lot of conscious effort on his part, though. But the sooner it starts, the better.

If he refuses to start working on this issue, then frankly, your future with him will be very challenging. This kind of issue is not unique to married couples -- men often have difficulties getting in touch with their emotions. Couples therapy can help with these issues, so can individual therapy for him. Maybe he knows he needs some assistance with this issue since he's seen the websites... ?

DocJohn