Thank you AkAngel and LovebirdsFlying.
Let me see... what to say first....
Well, I think it's wonderful you had a father that cared about you and your family AkAngel. My father had a gambling addiction, left us many times without money to pay bills. The day after his death bookies were calling my mother to collect money-- she gave them the address of the cementary and told them to take it up with my dad there.
though my dad didn't really abuse me-- he turned a blind eye when I was being abused and once even dropped me off to the very man's house that he knew was abusing me.. ugh... don't like talking about this......
so anyway-- I think it's nice that you had such an upstanding father and role model.
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I felt slighted - not because he didn't show me affection, but my interpretation was that he was saying that affection went to girls.
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ah! see how the imbalance can cause the mind to have negative emotions?! ..... even for a child that was safe with the father and nurtured. IMO-- objects should always be "it"-- then there is NO imbalance at all. and thanks for answering my question
and also for the apology for straying towards the idea that-- males have imbalance too. I so know that and wish it weren't so for them too. (*** trigger**** I didn't get the cigarette burns because girls have to "look" good and boys weren't allowed to cry so they suffered as well... poor dear boys)
and LovebirdsFlying-- yes I think I do regard it that way: a=b so b=a. I never thought of it like that but I do believe that's how my scarred mind interprets it. thank you for wording it that way
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The trouble with feelings, phobias, triggers, and terror is that they are not logical.
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Oh but it DOES seem so logical to me! I'm not sure I see how it's NOT logical....... not able to grasp that, at this time.....
I will think about this-- thank you.
one more thing-- AkAngel--
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I really have appreciated your accepting my view on things here even though my view is different and I found myself talking to my wife and daughter last night about this post trying to see if they might be able to offer a helpful perspective too. (cause you said the more perspectives you hear...)
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wow! You did?-- that is so kind of you. I will appreciate any view, as I'm hoping the more I hear of other views the less mine will have a tight grip on me. that is my dream- to be less affected by this and other gender situations as well.... it has in part, kept me from having friends, holding jobs long and so many other aspects of my life are adversly affected from this...... *sigh*.... it's hard to believe..........
thank you all
wishing you peace and healing
fins