Yeah, Razorback 713, I do think there is something of an emotional resonance with certain people... and certainly not only in the realm of romantic relationships. I've had very few friends through the years (so maybe not a good test subject for the theory!
), but one comes to mind immediately was just last year. Though he is not dx'd BP, there seemed to be elements of it for sure. We shared some major unusual traits, and I was soooo struck by the feeling that this person really understood a major part of me -- especially things revolving around a certain kind of creativity and, <cough> productivity fluctuations -- in a way no one ever had. Not to mention flip of a switch mood changes. He'd try to cover, but knowing it all too well, I could see the subtler signs that he couldn't hide. We were instantly fast friends, even though in other (non-emotional/creative) ways we were very different.
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Originally Posted by PufNStuf
...I was married for 4 years to someone who is not bipolar....and although they can be lovely and helpful, another BP person can really understand. The only downfall, I've seen, is that each other's lows can trigger depression.
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Ahh yes, and now to the romantic side... I was with my now ex for 25 (! gasp!) years (yeah, my fear of having to deal with the real world's *that* bad). Funny that even long before being dx'd, I always thought of him as "the rock". And me the unpredictable one that instigated every single (w/o exception) kooky thing over the years. I had a sense that this arrangement kept some weird kind of balance. BUT, though he was caring in his own way, he totally didn't get it. Cut from an entirely different sort of cloth, and very big on the "Just snap out of it" and "Just control yourself! It's not that hard!" admonitions. I tried sooo hard, but just couldn't. Also, and worst of all, he made "jokes" in
REALLY poor taste about my problems. Won't repeat them here as they're very distressing in their (even *if* unintended) cruelty.
'Nuf of that. Have a very sweet BF now. Not BP, though apparently they thought he might be at one point. He's got MDD, so we very much understand each other on that end of things. We immediately and deeply clicked, as if we'd known each other for years. Agree with PufNStuf that the trick is to beware of triggering a spiral in each other. BUT... and this is HUGE for me... he notices when I start to take a turn and inquires about my well-being. This is a completely new experience for me and I deeply deeply appreciate him for it.
So... guess it's like anything else -- there are advantages and disadvantages and we just have to find the balance that works for us.