Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker1950
Most of my adult life, I've found fault with my ex husband and felt HE was the cause of the failure of the marriage. Only recently, within the past 6 months or so, have I begun to acknowledge that I was at fault also. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret divorcing him after 20 years, but I recognize my own shortcomings. This is not in the form of self-recrimination so much as to realize how ill-suited we were for each other, and also how much I lacked in self-awareness of my own needs. I was like a feather floating around and attaching myself to anyone and then trying to adapt, trying to squeeze blood out of a turnip.
It's kind of freeing to come to this kind of realization. I have the same feelings about the post-divorce dating relationships in which the endings found me wallowing in self-pity. Rather than seeing myself as a victim in these debacles, I now see that I was a full participant who stayed much longer than was rational. Hindsight is great!
Just wanted to share!
Patty 
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Good you see that, one step forward.
hope you do well