Hi, I'm new to here, though I've been reading the Psychological Self Help booklet for a while now. I was diagnosed as having depression a while back but I've probably had it in a major way for about 3-4 years now, I'm 20 and I'm a student by the way.

I had a course of cognitive behavioural therapy and felt much better, pretty much thought that was me straight. But I realised something wasn't right and after reading the book I realsie I have longer standing psychological stuff that will take more efort to shift. My psychiatrist has referred me to a psychologist but there is a 6 month waiting list, so I'm fending on my own now.

My cbt therapist made a big thing about the lack of communication I have with others, especially my family. She said stuff like, 'your family don't speak, everyone keeps things to themselves'. I didn't really take it in but recently I've thought about it and I realise it's true. I'm not really close to anyone, my friends don't know about my depression and I don't discus it with ny family, although they do know.

I don't know if any of you have read it but I bought the 'Reinventing Your Life' book, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...s&n=507846 about 'lifetraps' people fall into. I think I definitely have the one about 'emotional deprivation', when you are not sued to being close to people and so find it hard for the rest of your life. It states that you feel lonely consatantly, like you always need the love of someone (usually a partner for me) but whan you get it, its never enough.
I can't begin to describe how lonely I am.

I think I am dependent in a sense, not really on other people to do things for me, but on their love.

I know I can build my self esteem and other ways to lessen the dependence, and this will help.

But I worry that I will never be 'right' How do you stop craving love? What can you so for youreslf taht will lessen that significantly.

I go out and chat up girls, and then when I have them , I kiss them so passionately, like they are the love of my life, but we've only just met, and I don't even really like some of them. I feel desperate to be loved, but its never enough, and I get no more emotional feeling from kissing a girls then I do if I was patting her on the back. Like I say, I feel emotionally dead.

What is there I can do to get that feeling back (if I ever really had it)?

I know you guys don't have the answers, but have any of you experienced a similar problam, or know which self help methods might work.

Thanks and all the best.

Stephen