How one hundred percent positive are you guys about the diagnosis of bipolar? I ask because that is a LOT of external havoc she is wreaking and there can be many reasons why kids do that.

Often when people physically hurt themselves and the people they love it is a way of asking for help. Freaking out at other people's houses and at you and worrying about her own behavior around you could indicate some serious trust issues. Children who experience trauma often don't say anything and also can display the kind of behavior you are describing. I could be totally off and you do have a family history of bipolar but that was my gut reaction.

For what it's worth it can get better. My cousin has Ausberger's and for a while it took two adults watching him at all times. You literally couldn't take your eyes off of him for sixty seconds. Now he is fourteen and you would have no idea there was anything different about him. Children's brains are miraculously adaptable.