I have had to deal with these issues as a child and I know how scared she must be. I know you don't want to see her go to a hospital but it might be for the best. Get into therapy for the whole family. Find other parents with Bipolar children. My mom had her head in the sand for 25 years and I pretty much had to figure this all out on my own. Your daughter is so lucky she has you to understand her and help her. I can relate to her saying she can hardly remember her episodes b/c I almost never can. even now at 29. It is the hardest life to live (I think) b/c there are no cures. Sure there are meds but it takes years to find the right combo and then (for me atleast) they only work for so long. Then you upping doses to the point theres no where to go but on to a different med. the cycling is the worst b/c most people (and yourself) can't understand why and how this happens this way. (I'm rambling,sorry) Your post broke my heart, I see my 5 year old with such symptoms and I'm so worried that I have given him a life sentence of hell. My son has not shown anything as severe as your daughter yet but its there, I can feel it in my heart. Good luck to your family and keep us posted, I will be praying for your daughter.