I just read some of your additional posts and have to tell you about my falling-down-the-stairs story!

I'm my husband's second wife. We lived for 20 years in a large rambler on an acre of land. I went out one winter morning to get his newspaper from the driveway, slipped on some ice on the sidewalk and fell. It was painful and I lay there, in the ice/slush, being cold and wet and hurting. Nothing happened. I finally was able to look over to the house and he was sitting in the window/kitchen table, looking at me.

I slowly got up and limped to the newspaper, got it, went back into the house and gave him the newspaper and asked, "Do you let all your wives fall on the ice getting your newspaper for you and then just sit there?" He replied, "You got up. I was watching."

On the surface, looks like insanity to us? But I know he loves me so I had to think harder about it. What did I want him to do? How would his coming running out and fretting over my having fallen, maybe grabbing/jerking me to my feet, etc. have helped me? It wouldn't have. Yes, in books, the hero comes and lifts the lady in his arms and sweeps into the warm house and lays her on the bed and gently wipes the mud off her face, etc. but. . . that doesn't quite fit my real life. For starters, I weigh too much for him to lift easily

I'm glad my husband does watch and does have a cool head so if it is an emergency, he can get really good care for me. But that was one thing my husband taught me, but only when I got curious and asked him about it. He never offers to help anyone. He never minds helping, but you have to ask him for his help, he won't offer because offering help where it's not needed is insulting. My deciding you need help is saying that I know better than you do what you need.

If you fall and break your leg, how will he feel? You haven't done that yet, so he can't tell you how he'd feel! That's a future, hypothetical situation. There's no such thing. You can only ask him, "How did you feel?" after the event. He may or may not remember because, in an emergency, people aren't thinking about how they're feeling, they're doing.