Like others have said. Hang in there. It sucks right now, but it will be worth trying something, anything new. You have your whole life ahead of you and it won't always be this way. There are people who love you and depend on you. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect or highly functional. Just focus on getting well so you can be there for yourself and others. I think everyone on the bipolar forum has had periods of times where nothing seems to work chemically and it feels like it's always going to be chaotic and depressing. I am facing severe anxiety every day and just tweaked my meds this morning in hopes that I can have a more normal day. The point is, don't give up. We're here for you. Sorry it is so bad right now.