She knows that if others know that you are a good, caring person then they will never understand why she left you. She is trying to justify her actions in leaving you for another person whom everyone knows is abusive.

There's also another reason why she might have left. I am 52 years old, I was abused as a child and as a wife, I am now in my fourth marriage this time to a good, kind, caring man. (I'm finally learning from my mistakes)
Because the abuse had conditioned me into being the perpetual victim that was my role in life. I knew the boundaries, I knew the limits of the relationship. In a way, I was the one in control. I knew that I could leave at any time but I didn't. The reason for not leaving was that the unknown was too scary. In an abusive relationship I knew the dance steps, I knew the moves. I have never been able to live on my own only in a relationship, I tried it a few times but always went into another relationship after a short time.
I didn't know how to feel comfortable with just my own company.
I always, (consciously or unconsciously) chose either abusive men or 'needy' men. I was always in control that way.
I think that may one of Sarah's problems.
In a relationship where you are given the freedom to be yourself, you don't know what the hell to do with it. You don't know the rules or the steps.

There is also another reason for always going for abusive relationships. And please don't be offended by this, it is not personal, it has been researched and proven by many psychiatrist and psychologists.

When a person has lived in abusive relationships for a long time and they suddenly find 'mr or miss nice person', someone who respects them and tries to please them etc, they don't know what to do. Some 'victims' can find mr or miss nice person boring.

After an history of abusive relationships you become used ot the adrenaline rushes, yes, caused by fear etc, but your body can and does become addicted to the adrenaline. That is often why an abused person finds mr or miss nice person boring, or unexciting.

It is the fear of the unknown.

And don't forget we always think that we can change the abuser, that it will never happen again. Triumph of hope over experience.

I agree that it is time for you to move on. Try and remember the good times cos there must have been some and don't let this experience embitter you.
You have a lot to give someone, Sarah was not that person.
*hug*

Aran