Hi, JD and Crew and thank you for your thoughts. After your comments and some thought i dont think i have PTSD, which is good. and i know i dont have DID. i am communicating with a T now by email because of something i needed to do before meeting. But it wont be long now before i can go and meet the T. im just worried that i dont have any real reason to go. i know things have happened to me and i dont live like most people but i think im coping ok and dont need any help really. i just dont know if my opinion is right. i go in circles with this alot. i am such a private person ive never told anyone anything, ever. no one who knows me thinks theres anything wrong. i act normal and cheerful and all. i dont want to go to the T and have the T say why are you here, theres nothing wrong with you. im so stress if im doing the right thing or not. im also so not a people person and im going for individual counseling and i think ill die in the first session. i just cant imagine being able to do it. what a mess have i gotten myself into.