Wow! Thanks for all the replies. I'm new to forums. I'll try to answer all your questions. I'm on medication, have been for months. I also see a psychologist weekly and my primary care is very supportive. I now have a psychiatrist who is adjusting my meds. I have family history that includes bipolar and depression.

I think I joined this group because I don't live with my docs and sometimes I need someone to talk to. I'm not a sharing person so the forums seemed like the best bet.

I don't sleep well with or without sleep meds. My sleep includes all of the above in the prev post. I'm not tired but want to sleep. I don't want to be awake. This is not the same as my suicidal thoughts but a sad feeling.