So I have to say, I realized that I've become really bitter...
Because:

* I'm going through this hell when all my friends (or ex-friends) are happy and living life as they ought to be
* I had a father who never gave me the things I needed as a beloved son
* I have to drink myself to sleep every night
* I see random people on the streets who are with a significant other
* My ex-girlfriend betrayed my trust, my heart and it still lingers...
* God remains to be silent and non-responsive
* I've become totally helpless and incompetent
* I've lost a lot of my friends
* I feel alone .... so very alone and no one understands me

I want to forgive my dad, my ex-girlfriend, and most importantly myself...but why is it so damn hard? I know that forgiveness will help tremendously. I miss the times I woke up looking forward to the day that God had given to me.