Thank you so much Elana05. For a moment there I felt a little alone with no responses I do now feel comfort here - all it takes is the one voice. I'm trying to figure out what I should do. I have been to therapy but it doesn't help me change my behavior (reactivity), just identify why I have it. It may help moderately for a little while but as time passes, I realize that I'm right where I was before. I've spent alot of money on it. I feel like I need something that will help me change as a person and unlearn how I always react - learn new tactics on how to cope. I swear - I'm this close to medicating myself!!!