My depression normally lasts about a week un-triggered, and then it's like I'm this tired ball of sadness and self-pity for no good reason. Triggered: lasts around a month, suicidal thoughts, tendencies, on occasion I SI, and then all of a sudden, mostly at night...it's like a fairy waved her magic wand...start grinning like sum1 that's trying to hide the fact that they're baked...then laughing at nothing much...then my sleep eludes me and I know I'm there. The next few days I'm buzzing, racing,bouncing,and anxious, but EUPHORIC not sure how long this lasts without a crash being triggered as I keep getting triggered these days...we'll see...
Sometimes the cycle's more rapid than usual,I think mostly due to outside influence, not me myself. I dislike it when the manic me disappears quickly

I don't want the meds to stop my buzzing, I can handle the anxiety,hyperactivity and anything else that goes along with my euphoria...I just wanna keep my euphoria, that's the me I like best, the me that feels like my authentic self...