Yes, hi, sillywoman, welcome to PsychCentral.

It does sound like this is one of the things you'll have to decide to fix? It's your life and what you want to do with it is all that is really important. I'm sorry you don't feel you can work with your husband. Mine is laid back but definitely not a door mat. How is it you two got married; it doesn't sound like his behavior surprises or frustrates you in a why-doesn't-he-do-something? sort of way?

I have found the intellectual thing can be deceiving. Even if you are smarter than he is, don't forget that two-thirds of the world's population is average or below average and we smart ones do well to learn to communicate and get along with them. There are innumerable attributes that everyone has in a variety of strengths and "smarts" is just one of them. It's not all that high on my list of most desirable in other people and isn't anywhere on my list of those I like in myself.