I understand that you need company - even if it's just knowing that someone is watching you out the corner of their eye that keeps you on the straight and narrow.

BNLsMOM - I need to leave work now, but please promise me that if you think you are going to realise that it's too much and you cannot look after yourself - please phone the hospital...
Or get a friend to phone and check in on you every 1 or 2 hours. You need to be there for your children, so what's a few days off in the hospital in the long run?
I don't think anyone deserves this deep depression for as long as you've battled with it now - I really believe your meds need to be adjusted too.

Please be safe and I'll check in with you in 16 hours or so (((HUGS)))