Life is hard enough, I know. But to try to start all over again, after a long, failing marriage and without recent employment history....although suspected, it was a rude awakening for me to actually face the reality of how rough it really will be to start over.

It's been over 25 years since I worked last. I've been out of circulation for so long that I find it extremely intimidating. Despite that, I made the attempt to see what's out there for me by going to the local college to the job resource center.

I approached the woman, explaining my purpose for being there. She handed me an application to fill out. Aside from the required personal information, the first question was, "Date of last employment". My lord. It's been so long since I worked that I couldn't answer that.
I explained to her my situation. How I'm attempting to reinstate myself in the work force, but have extreme doubts about my success due to my age, the duration of unemployment, and the fact that I'm competing against all these young minds fresh out of college with earned degrees.
I mean, let's face it, most employers seeking employees more than likely favor the young grads. My odds are slim to none at finding employment that will support me and my daughter once I leave here and divorce.

I tell the woman how skeptical I am at my chances, and she tells me that, although I don't have the degrees that most have, I have "experience in living".
I can't help but to find humor in that statement.
Yes. I have "life experience". Can you imagine, though, I'm at a job interview and they ask me my experience. My answer is painfully and realistically obvious, "No. I do not have experience in the field I am applying for, but I have lived".
I'm not about to put myself through that humiliation.

Sigh.
It's no wonder that many women remain in a bad marriage simply because their options are so bleak.
I live in a very expensive area of California...(what area isn't expensive here, anymore), and to relocate is next to impossible, (tried that, already...didn't work). So, I am inclined to remain in the basic area, (cheaper in the long run). But, in order to sustain a decent life for self and daughter, I have to have an income that exceeds what minimum wage provides, otherwise we face some serious poverty, or even possible homelessness.

This so sucks. I'm like an outdated model put on the "classic" display shelf.
Still, though, I am not allowing this one slap of reality take me so far down as to force me into submission of remaining in this marriage. I so want OUT. Not "just" separated from him..but completely divorced.

How do you women do it?...Start over, that is? Am I overlooking something?
(Not even sure if this is in the correct forum...sorry if it isn't).

Thankies~

Shangrala