Hi, Shangrala..
I can somewhat identify with your situation. I actually stayed married much longer than I would have chosen (20 years) because I couldn't find employment, knew I was unemployable, and had no marketable skills. I actually went back to school while still married, knowing full well that my intention was to support myself. I don't know if this is an option for you, as going to school takes time, and it sounds like you want out now! I'm wondering if there are any programs there in your area for women such as yourself who've been out of the workforce for a long time....something to help you get on your feet financially till you are self-sufficient? I know that's a stretch, but it sounds like you are up against a wall. Is your current situation in the marriage such that you could receive alimony and child support, at least till you are more financially independent? My husband at the time told me repeatedly that he would "throw me out into the street with nothing, and keep our daughter with him." I was so browbeaten I believed him. He was mean about his money and his property. When I did finally leave, and only after our daughter had left for college, I actually let him write the divorce, sans lawyer, keeping most everything. In retrospect, I now realize I would have been due more rights, and should have gotten a lawyer for myself, but I was too timid. I did have a job by that time, and I was just glad to be able to support myself. So...in your situation, I guess a lot depends on your joint property, his income, and finding a sharp lawyer. It sounds ruthless, I know, but that may be a choice for you.

You mention living in CA, where the cost of living is so high. I envy you living there, but I know it would be hard for anyone to live comfortably there, just starting out.

I haven't been much help, but I can so identify with your dilemma.
Patty