I hear the fear.

I am in my mid 40s. I've done short-term temp work and have made a few unsuccessful attempts to work, but I haven't held down a long-term job since my daughters were in elementary school. My younger one is now expecting her second child....

And I'm afraid. Yes, about ten years ago when my kids were in high school, I was hired for a part-time, minimum wage grocery store job, and when I told the (female) interviewer that I was a mother, she joked, "That qualifies you for upper management, right there." I think that may be one advantage that we women have over the guys. We can always blame years of unemployment on stay-at-home motherhood, and get away with it. Unfortunately for the men, they can't fall back on that excuse.

Unfortunately I couldn't keep that job, since the physical labor was beyond my capabilities. What they called "part time" was 37 hours a week, just under full time so they wouldn't have to offer benefits. After about a month I had to take time off, they told me to come back when the doctor cleared me, and he never did. It is some comfort to me that they did, after all, hire me, despite the fact that I was a bit older than their average employee, and was on disability. Besides being plus-sized. But, that was ten years ago, I still remain both physically and psychologically disabled, not to mention plus-sized, and now I'm even older. I'm afraid to try job-hunting. When I hear, "I'm sorry, we don't have any openings," I always think to myself, "OK, which is it? My age, my weight, or my cane?" Hubby advises me to consider a fourth option--that they really don't have any openings. But, I have seen it before. They tell me there are no openings, and then turn around and hire some cute little teenager with a dress size in the negative numbers.

But, I have a resource. I am a member of a mental health clubhouse program. If you qualify, you might see if there is one in your area. For the one I attend, there are no dues and you don't have to be on Social Security or Medicaid. All you have to do is prove you have a mental health diagnosis. It is not a treatment facility. They don't do group therapy or anything like that. They set it up to simulate a work day, and then keep themselves deliberately understaffed so that the members *have* to pitch in and help do the work. Not with formal training, but just by doing the work, members develop skills in different areas. Helping to prepare and serve lunch for everyone develops restaurant skills. We also run a clothing closet for the community, receive mail and phone calls for homeless people, and we're working on setting up a subsidized housing program. Members who work in those areas develop clerical/office, customer service, and retail skills. Those who clean up the place can claim experience in maintenance. And then there is the job search service provided by the clubhouse. Job coaches help you develop your resume, and even connect you with potential employers. I've chosen to start out with temp work, and I've already received one paycheck. My first in almost 10 years. I was so proud. It was such a big accomplishment for me.

Hubby asked me, if I want a job, why not just go out there and start looking for one? I answered that I feel better starting off with supported employment search, working with a job coach so I'm not doing it alone. Plus, they can provide references that I don't have by myself.

My goal is to be employed by January 2011. I'm thinking you don't have the luxury of time, though, but I suggest if you have a therapist or a psychiatrist you might ask about this type of resource in your area.

Here's a link to the clubhouse where I live. It's patterned after the one in New York City, and there are similar ones all over the country. Worth investigating?

http://sites.google.com/a/capitalclubhouse.org/web/