xsilentXteardropsx ,

We are not qualified to diagnose illnesses. We can help with problems from our own experiences of dealing with things, but cannot diagnose someone else.

The best thing that I could suggest for you to do would be to speak to someone you trust (maybe parents, physician, therapist, school counselor, priest, etc). Tell them what you wrote here or if you have trouble telling them, print a copy and let them read it.

You don't have to live feeling like this. Get some help and please keep posting so we know how you are doing.

Good luck, slow