Hi Maryjain - not sure old you are and I must just be honest that your post is a little bit hard to read.

All I can say to you is that right now I commend you for taking the first step and going to see a pdoc. I think you realise you are doing this for yourself, but you are the only only one that can love YOU the way you deserve. You deserve to get help and be happy and healthy.

You will need to be 100% honest going forwards. With yourself, your doc and your boyfriend and remember you come first.
Your pdoc needs to know how much of the tabs you were taken and how often. Keep your bf informed of any meds that may be prescribed and then be honest to yourself and make sure you take them.
It may initially take around 6 weeks for the meds to fully kick in. Monitor the changes in your mood and feed back to your pdoc so he can make changes as necessary. This process of tweaking meds may take a while - be patient and work through it.
You need to your health first - your bf will have to understand why yoou are seeing the pdoc and that you may need to be on meds. If he really loves you, he will support you. You cannot put the relationship infront of your health in this case.

If he accepts it, speak to him about your medicine management - your pdoc needs to be made aware if there is any chance you could abuse your meds - maybe ask your bf to help you by taking responsibility and locking them away. And ensure you are prescribed meds that you cannot get too addicted too, or where overdosing is not a huge risk