I wrote about the man that i have been 'sharing' my life for around the past year. He had quite a history (read my previous posts).
Anyway, last night I was having a nosey thru some chat rooms and I saw his profile which said he was single and and and. This really hurt. So, i told him not to bother coming back from work because he was no longer welcome here. I had to call the police eventually so they could 'remove' him from here.
The strange thing is, now he has gone, I feel relieved that he has gone, like a weight has been lifted of me, the other strange thing is, I feel very violated and dirty at the fact that I allowed this person into my life, he has manipulated and betrayed my trust and my stupid big soft heart. I feel dirty at the fact that, although that i knew that he had spent time in prison for sexual offences, he maintained throughout that it was all lies against him, i let him stay??
I honestly cannot imagine why I would be so desperate for love that I would endanger myself and my family with some one like him around. I dont know what i am saying actually, maybe some one will make sense of what i have written here, but i feel like i am dirty and that i have been violated in some way..........
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