I totally agree with you Elana05. At this point in my life, trying to be forgiving just drives me crazy with guilt. I feel guilt when I'm unsuccessful in my forgiveness phase and I slide back into anything that doesn't resemble forgiveness. This is probably why I feel so much discomfort inside right now - because I'm finding it excruciatingly difficult to become the person I'd like to be and be able to put away the person that I actually am altogether. Does that make sense?