Hello Jored, nice to meet you. Your post is very articulate and shows great insight into yourself. The fact that your being honest about what's happening and how your dealing with it speaks volumes. It seems to me that you have reached an understanding of your bp. This is good. But please remember, BP is not WHO you are, it's an illness you must deal with. You're still just as human and valid as every other human being on the face of the earth. Assuming like others that you are newly diagnosed...I understand your feelings of the need to just hide from the world...we've all been there, lol. I think the most important thing you must learn to cultivate about this illness is constant self monitoring. It's vital that you become aware of the cycles...there are times when it IS important that you just hunker down, especially when cycling up because that is when our judgement tends to go out the window. But when it comes to the down cycling...do your best to reach out. Coming here is a huge step in that direction, but also to maintain regularity in your sleep cycles, your eating schedule, going to work or school or whatever the situation may be for you.
In learning to get to know your cycles, keep a daily record of your highs and lows...the key is to do it for an extended period of time so you can get the "big picture" of your bp illness. I must advise that it's important to exercise caution in who you choose to tell about your bp. Some people, because they don't understand, tend to see us with a stigmatism that is an over reaction to the reality of the situation.
Don't be afraid to be who you are and what you stand for. Being bp does not minimize those things in any way as long as you are being honest with yourself and others.
Courage is defined as doing those things that scare you, intimidate you and are important to in spite of the fear you feel.
So get up each day, take your shower, eat your breakfast and plan your day. I know, I know...nothing ever goes as planned, but you've got to have a plan to at least get your start. Bp is NOT all bad. You're life can be an exciting and satisfying place to be. Choose your attitude buddy. We're here to help.
Thanks for reaching out to us, we'll need you too.
TgrsPurr, xo.