(((((((((((((((petunia)))))))))))))))))

that's not a hijack. that's relation and i appreciate it!

the thing is, they've been made our hot coals, and we sure as heck didn't ask for it. i used to get so stuck too, petunia, with the "why" questions. i'd make progress, get upset ask a why question that couldn't be answered and go back around. i've done that for years in t.

t and i are just know walking around that. i've realized those why's will never be answered in this life. there was no working thru that. i simply had to accept it. i'm still trying to do that. it's more than hard. for instance, a blocked memory came to me a bit ago (8 yrs old. i thought i would've been nuts had there not been a police report out there). well, it brought about the "why" thing again. i quickly was able to say that i'll never know. i'm working on that acceptance now and the safety issues that i have subsequently...along with everything else it's more than hard.

i had to realize that NO, I DIDN'T ASK NOR DESERVE THAT, and that i'll never know why all of it had to happen to ME. mindfulness has helped there to acknowledge these issues as just "existing or being", so that i can attempt to address them and what they've done to us.

thank you again, sweetie.

kd