OK, I've reread my question and think I have to start all over from the beginning...

Fenrir, despite your doubts and fears, you've made a plan and begun the process of going back to school. Some force or combination of forces moves you in that direction. I hope a knowledge of what's leading you back to school and of what you seek to gain in this course might make the elements of this challenge clearer and less threatening to you.

Success is possible. Success and happiness are what I hope for you.