Gonna reply to own thread as there were responses removed when a mass delete happened. This is OUR life/lives and we need to be able to look back and see what happened when and not have OUR reality shaped by the actions of others.
It is important to OUR healing to have times and dates to attach to words. Much has changed in our life/lives since this thread was last responded to back in January but to be able to look over those past ten months is part of OUR healing journey.
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Anonymous
(Unregistered)
01/06/05 12:41 am
Re: No! etc.
Thank you to everyone for such kind support. I still lack the words to express what is going on so that is part of why I've been quiet lately.
Today was first day I can remember in long time (but my memory is on the fritz so who knows......ya know?! ) that I left therapy and didn't lose hours of time!
I could have used some dissociating as I spent four or so hours in wet conditions of Bay Area---we're Californians and we can't drive in rain eek!---traffic. Would have loved to have been anywhere else but driving.
At least I heard my governor's State of the State speech while shifting between first and second and first and.............ad infinitum. Felt like I had used that time wisely by listening. Haven't read much news lately so this was an indulgence.
It was refreshing to remember most of my therapy session and then everything afterwards. Even visited with some good ppl in a few spots around the area.
bonus was housemate threw money at me to pick up dinner on way home from excellent chinese restaurant which meant both of us will eat well for two days.......his treat!! Free healthy food is great in my book!!
The 'no! no! no! no!' part is still present but nowhere near the intensity of whatever date this thread started. Thank you again all for the really beautiful support.
This in some ways helps heal what didn't occur when I was younger. but that is a good sobbing........a healing sobbing.
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Fuzzybear
(Elder)
01/07/05 03:13 am
Re: No! etc.
Here are some fuzzy hugs for when you want them (maybe no expiry date but not sure ..)
(((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))))
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Anonymous
(Unregistered)
01/30/05 12:08 pm
Re: No! etc.
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Here are some fuzzy hugs for when you want them (maybe no expiry date but not sure ..)
(((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))))
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Fuzzette! I think I'll kindly request a hug or two today if that is possible. I can even handle hugs from a growly bear!
Therapist has been good at shifting a bit more between practical and past so I'm not as 'lost' feeling during and after therapy right now. Then again I missed a day this week due to the whole dang day away!!
The art therapy seems to bring about more of a sense of 'calm' inside even if anger bubbles right under the surface. My portfolio from therapy is one weird body of work. Because journals and artwork from therapy have been destroyed before I now leave most work with therapist and do therapeutic art there in office.
Really need some physical movement too and as scary as that is inside the office it can be so grounding and the play aspect is reassuring to the non adult in me.
Well I'm sure you wanted this detailed ramble Fuzzette!
Thanks hon for support and understanding the nonunderstandable
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Fuzzybear
(Elder)
01/30/05 03:14 pm
Re: No! etc.
The detail is interesting, thanks for sharing it. Your therapist sounds really great and I know how hard you are working..... mega kudos hon!
((((((((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))))))))
Growls and xoxo
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Anonymous
(Unregistered)
01/31/05 05:52 pm
Re: No! etc.
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((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))) More hugs if you want them.
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Thank [_____]! I sure as heck need them today. Therapy was bizarro again and I'm spacey but more than anything was a blast from the past e-mail this morning which has thrown me for more than a loop.
Maybe I can exist in denial just a weeeeeeee bit longer?
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silver_queen
(Magnate)
01/31/05 05:58 pm
Re: No! etc.
((((((((((((((zen))))))))))))) sorry to hear you're struggling today
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Anonymous
(Unregistered)
01/31/05 06:23 pm
Re: No! etc.
ty silver_queen. I know things haven't been easy for you either in a while now. I hope we all just keep at it so that we can get to those better days. I posted more about some of today's junk back in the ITL forum.
thanks for the hugs and some back atcha sweetie (((((silver_queen)))))
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SweetCrusader
(Grand Magnate)
01/31/05 06:51 pm
Re: No! etc.
(((((((zh)))))))) ONLY if wanted
Hang in there, girl!
Angela
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Fuzzybear
(Elder)
01/31/05 10:10 pm
Re: No! etc.
Sorry you're struggling hon ((((((((((((((((((zh))))))))))))))))))
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RhysMadison
(Veteran Member)
01/31/05 11:09 pm
Hope things go better for you soon. You deserve it! You're in my thoughts.
Love,
RhysMadison
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October 5th, 2005
We are filled with such gratitude for the support shown so many months back when we were found ourselves so lost at times. If we didn't have some of this stuff printed and saved for journals it would have been wiped away forever! We need our history intact as best possible to figure out how to remain alive in this lifetime.
Validation and consistency is so key to those who grew up with their realities altered by the abuse of others.
there was a sense of HUGE invalidation when we found our posts so chopped.
We're working on it. As _Sky sagely put it </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Our focus here needs to be on how WE - each one of us - are coping.
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