Kimmy, its awful when things get bad and I too have had feelings that have moved through the days.
And the "why" questions are the hardest ones to deal with cos the answers are never there but the question doesnt go away.
Im sending you some special "all the girls" cuddles, they are really soft, really warm, very healing and especially for you kimmy.
Be safe and kind to yourself.
All the girls
and heres a kiss from me if you want it
X Iris
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good things come to those who wait, and wait and wait