Thanks Shangrala.....as usual, your wordings are so beautiful that I love to read them over and over....

My mom has two side, very caring and loving and very mean and hateful....and these two sides are changing so quickly....that's why she's so unpredictable....

Yes, I do love her....but I don't miss her....I can't be with her for more than couple of hours....and yes, that's sad....but what can I do?

I want all good for her, and I feel so horrible for what she's going through....I begged my older sister when mom is visiting her in UK, she stays cool and not getting into argue with her.....I told my sister how fregile mom is with all things that is going on in her life....losing dad was a big thing for her....it's so hard for her to deal with it....at top of that two of her brothers, my uncles, passed away one after the other last year....that's really hard....I know....but still it's hard to deal with her....

I'm dealing with so many stuff these days....I got to find a better place to live....this home is so close to high way....I can't get good night sleep....I'm so tired

Thanks again for your support.....
Marjan