thx. but the last part is a whole other issue... it's not just the adhd I'm taking meds 4... I'm also diagnosed with bipolar, ocd & bpd... & the meds don't just keep me happy, they're what get me out of bed & give me the motivation 2 enjoy my hobbies or go to work or anything! I'm just plain ole dependent... far beyond any kind of abuse. with no meds, I wouldn't even classify me as human. I'm just nothing without anything, & that's my problem. I guess I'm somewhat lost? idk what 2 do & my brain is currently going in every direction it possibly can. I'm either at 1 extreme or another.