If you read my other post you know my wife and I are trying to fix our marriage. I felt like I was in competition with the guy she was seeing while we were separated. I thought I was over it but lately everything she says triggers an emotion and I feel I am competing again. I don't know if everything she told me was true but I feel that I will never be able to live up to this guy, why? I don't enjoy sex cause I am so busy thinking is she enjoying this or wishing she was with him. I think about things she told me when we were separated and just lose all self esteem. She talked about how good sex was with him and I have bought books on sex like I am a virgin or something. She says its fine but maybe my self esteem won't allow me to believe her, and when she says stuff I am just like maybe that is what they did and I can't do those things. I feel I have to do everything she ask cause she has made me feel like he would have or did. I wish I could move on but its so hard to and now I find myself trying to be this guy, trying to be Mr. Perfect. This has made me not like who I am and I change whatever she has a problem with trying to be this guy or a version of him and its killing me!!